I am a loner and an introvert by nature. People who take my classes may be surprised by this. But my close friends and family definitely know this to be true. It’s been a long road to learning how to be somewhat comfortable in front of groups of people. Ironically, I’ve always felt drawn to perform. I did open mic poetry readings in high school and college, I enjoyed teaching Undergrad Creative Writing when I was earning my masters at UM and I feel a great sense of fulfillment when I teach yoga classes, retreats and workshops. But I always get nervous and I need to find solitude to recharge soon after a class or performance is over. I need quiet to filter through my thoughts and emotions and I enjoy my own company. People who are introverted and/or hyper sensitive will understand exactly where I’m coming from. I think it’s just a basic self care need for a certain personality type. But that’s not what this blog post is about.
I’ve been contemplating the importance of connectivity. As a natural introvert, it’s easy for me to be alone. But I feel the same human desire for deep connection and companionship as any one else, and maybe even more profoundly than most. Only, I’ve realized that at this time in my life, companionship is not as much a need as it is a soul felt desire. A need is based on wanting certain conditions fulfilled, wanting someone or something else to fill a void or create a distraction from something that we are wanting to avoid or overlook. But when we are comfortable and well acquainted with our inner-self, when we accept all of our uniqueness and are willing to acknowledge and work through our limitations and live a mindful life in as much awareness as we can, the company we choose to keep and the companionship we seek comes from a desire to co-create. We don’t look to our friends, family or our beloved to make us feel better about ourselves, we look to them to share the beauty of life and to create something that we cannot create on our own. We are also open to the lessons that they are there to teach us. I’ve learned my greatest life lessons from those that were closest to me. They serve as mirrors, reflecting my own insecurities and mental limitations right back at me.
I recently heard an actor comment on why he enjoyed playing rolls that were based on acting with a co-starring lead. To paraphrase, he said that, in acting, as in life, when you create together, as partners, you are two unique separate voices that manifest something greater, a harmony more lovely, more beautiful more fulfilling than you could create on your own.
In this season of coming together, be grateful for the co-creators and teachers in your life. Don’t close yourself off because the interactions maybe challenging or uncomfortable, keep reminding yourself, that if you are open, you can experience and birth a harmony more fulfilling, more lovely than you can ever experience on your own.