I don’t have many friends, but the people I do have in my inner circle are real, no bullshit, solid confidantes. I feel like I have people that really care for my wellbeing and I for theirs. And when I’m feeling down and out I know I can go to them for reflection, support and advice. With that said I also recognize the value of those teachers, healers and counselors that I’ve drawn into my life that play a very specific roll in my healing, recovery and self care. I wouldn’t be in this space of self-awareness and strength without them. We all need friends and loved ones that can be there both for the highs and the lows. And healers, counselors and teachers that can give us that unbiased, unattached assistance and a community, group and/or family that make us feel like we belong.
One of the most damaging effects of this pandemic has been the isolation, the fear of physical human connection and the disintegration of communities. Some of us have the ability to recreate that sense of belonging through online communication. Or we have a pod of family and friends that make the isolation less severe. But there are those of us that are naturally reclusive, or don’t feel as comfortable with online platforms or the impersonal nature of digital interactions just aren’t enough. That borderline describes me and that is why I made a conscious decision not to push people away and try to completely go it alone like I’ve done in the past, and damnit old habits die hard, I’m still working at chiseling away my defensive walls of isolation, but at least I’ve discovered voice memos and I don’t hesitate to vocalize my need to connect even if I’m feeling uncomfortable about leaving my four walls or making an actual phone call.
I’ve also been much more curious about support groups as they seem to have gained greater popularity but have always served a vital roll in society. I haven’t joined one yet but I feel like all of my workshops turn into a support group of sorts. Honestly I find the safety and raw vulnerability that recovery and support groups offer very alluring.
That leads me to my theory that I feel like all of us are on some kind of path of recovery. Whether it’s recovering from the traumatic shock that the world took and is still taking from the pandemic, or the forced shadow work and personal reflection that the dramatic upheaval and isolation forced upon us or the self-accountability we have chosen to take as we recognize that one of the most immediate ways we can help the planet and find some peace within ourselves is by cleaning up our own karma by taking stock of our personal lives, mental health and life choices.
Once we consciously choose to own the responsibility for our inner peace, mental and physical health and the imprint we have on the world, that does’t mean that we find immediate relief from our avoidance and escapist tendencies and personal suffering. Life will probably always be a challenge and struggle of some sort, but the inner peace comes from knowing that we are choosing to fight with our eyes wide open, we are choosing self love by not running away. We find greater peace when we choose things that offer the possibility for change in a manner that reflects our greatest wellbeing and a higher frequency for expanded consciousness that will affect holistic healing for the planet and the consciousness of the collective.
The recovery process is a lifelong commitment. We are constantly unraveling the many layers and depths of our psyche and spirit. So we might as well start by establishing a support system in our lives for this consistent work because no one is meant to go at it alone. Yes, it’s an inside job but we need loved ones, friends and healers to keep us in check. This path of self accountability, recovery and growth is not the easy road but we are worth the effort and the planet is better for it.
Here are a few pointers to help us stay true to our commitment to self-awareness and recovery:
1. Don’t give up on yourself, you are worth it. 2. Ask for help. 3. Surround yourself with people that know how to hold space without judgement, without trying to fix you unless you are specifically asking for advice. 4. Be gentle with yourself. 5. And most importantly try to stay present and mindful of all of your emotional and mental fluctuations.